5 Ways to Radicalise Your Self-Care Routine in 2020
It’s pretty trendy to trash the concept of self-care these days.
The hated term has become synonymous with snowflake millennials, frivolous spending, vacuous health trends, and the inability “to adult”. Worse still, brands push the idea of self-care to pedal dubious beauty products and scented candles to women (as if using our hard earned cash on rejuvenating bubble bath might help shatter the glass ceiling).
But in a culture defined by gender pay gaps and the cult of male stoicism, prioritising our needs can be a feminist act.
When we take “me-time” beyond slapping on a charcoal facemask or hiding in a duvet-burrito (though both completely valid uses of time) it becomes a powerful tool. It is a chance to define what we really need - and how to get there.
So, let’s commit to being protagonists in our own stories and reinvent the narrative around self-care this year. Here’s how to radicalise your self-care routine…
Set specific goals
Whether or not you’re a “new year, new me” person, sometimes you’ll feel the urge to do and be more. However, goals are hard to achieve if you don’t make them specific. Break down the long-term plan into small, achievable steps to stop yourself procrastinating forever, or being overwhelmed by the scope of your goal. Say you wanted to learn to rock the flute like Lizzo this year; commit to practicing for just 15 minutes per day to start with and it’ll soon become habit.
Honour your boundaries
Be they physical or emotional, we all have limits. Don’t feel guilty for knowing what yours are. Accepting them will help you maintain a sense of balance and control, and even improve your relationships. People like to know where they stand, so communicating your boundaries will empower you and give clarity to those around you. For example, if you’re exhausted by the constant connectivity of online dating, feel free to let your digital Lotharios know when you’re "switching off" for some headspace.
Forgive yourself
There will be times when you just don’t feel capable of anything, let alone being your absolute best 2020 self. You’ll have off days and down days, but that’s not to say you’re completely worthless. If someone close to you messed up you’d probably forgive them - so why not forgive you?! If you’ve had a few difficult days lately, accept the knockback but try not to spiral. Treat each day like a fresh start, and give yourself a chance to grow.
Ask for help
We all need support from time to time, but some of us find it pretty impossible to show our vulnerable side. Even if you’re “the strong one”, don’t be afraid to let people know when you need a bit of TLC. Start breaking down those barriers by asking for a small favour from someone who usually comes to you for help. Letting go of your need to be responsible for absolutely everything will make it easier to ask for support when you’re really struggling. Try a Samaritan if you don’t feel ready to lean on a loved one.
Do some things alone
That being said, discovering the joy in doing things alone can be pretty liberating. Being alone allows you to reflect on your needs, and perhaps rethink those old patterns that hold you back. You might need to disengage with social media and find some other activity to consume your attention. Try taking your mind off that tough break-up by embarking on a DIY project that will help you reclaim a space you associate with your ex. If you find yourself caught up in an evening overthink, a really immersive book might help you wind down for bedtime.
No matter how you approach self-care in 2020, make it the year you learn to trust yourself. You’re your own best ally, and only you know what you need.
The title image for this post was created for Harpy by Chloe Thomas, a graphic designer and illustrator from Yorkshire, UK. Find more by Chloe here.
