An Ode to Galentine's Day
I love love. Unapologetically and wholeheartedly, to the point that it makes people around me uncomfortable. Most of the time, my weekly, daily or hourly reminders to pals explaining why they are uniquely valued and worthy of specific celebration could be considered a bit much. However, there is one celebration which sanctions – nay, encourages – such an outpouring. I’m talking, of course, about Galentine’s Day.
Originating from season two of Parks and Recreation, Galentine’s Day (aka February 13th) is a day where you can celebrate your best pals. Leslie Knope, the CEO and mascot of this faux-holiday, states that this is a day for all her lady friends to “kick it breakfast style. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst, plus frittatas.” She declares “it’s wonderful, and it should be a national holiday.” Well Leslie, this dream is now a reality.
This will probably not be the first time you have heard of Galentine’s Day. Since the episode aired in 2010, more and more people have answered Ms Knope’s call, to the point that February 13th is given as much attention as the original holiday internationally. My social media is plastered with ads for things to get for my girl gang to shower them with the praise and affection they deserve. More cynical observers may suggest that this is yet another way that the capitalist machine feeds off of our sense of obligation to publicly demonstrate our affection through gifts and treats. That in reality, you don’t need to send people a card to say how wonderful they are. That this celebration is actually the embodiment of how holidays are actually just one big money-making scheme; this was literally invented by a writer for a TV show and has now, according to Bloomberg, led the average American citizen to spend an additional $15 on their friends in 2020. These are very valid points. I will mull them over as I eat banoffee ice cream out the tub, merrily adding “Ovaries before Brovaries” badges to my Etsy basket.
The pandemic has shut so many of us away from our friends and loved ones. It has been brutal. Nearly a year out of the game of hosting social events or being able to actually have a proper hug from our closest lady friends has undoubtedly taken its toll. Where once we would spend three or four times a week popping round to peoples’ houses, grabbing lunch or a coffee with colleagues, or maybe hopping on the train to spend a day with a friend, we now stay inside binge-watching Schitts Creek for the fourth time since the New Year. Now more than ever, it’s important to reach out to the people you love the most and explain in graphic detail why they are so wonderful. It’s so easy not to feel loveable. It’s so hard to feel like you have achieved anything when every day is the same, and there is no recognition for any of the work you’re doing. It’s so hard to feel loved when the people that love you are irretrievably far away. Without this connection to the outside world, it’s so much harder to feel like you actually matter.
So, what’s the harm in sending a note to a friend to tell them that you were grateful for that time they started yelling at a guy who put his hands on you at a bar? Or how they always know exactly the right joke to make when you’re in a self-deprecation spiral? Or how you’re so proud of them for getting a new job – in this climate!?! – and that this is clearly proof that they can achieve any of their dreams? Or just that you miss them?
Obviously, this should not be about spending loads and loads of money on friends. Just a scheduled phone call or a card in the post is enough to remind your gals how much they mean to you. Your friends have the power to ground you in a time when it’s easy to feel totally out of control. When I’ve had one of my (many) lockdown wobbles, a conversation with my housemate or a friend has helped me to identify when the things I’m worried about have actually just come from my imagination, and that the real cause of the problem is that I’ve been left alone with my own horrible thoughts for too long without any other input. It’s so easy to forget your own value and being shut off from the outside world also deprives you of the interactions which remind you of how much you’re worth. Everyone’s self-love tank is running low at the moment, and sometimes people need a reminder from outside that they have the power to brighten up someone’s day. Galentine’s provides the perfect opportunity for you to give your friends a (socially distanced) slap in the face with praise and unapologetic adoration. You never know how much they might need it.
It’s worth noting that, where appropriate, Galentine’s Day could be rebranded as ‘Palentine’s Day’. My closest boy buds have done just as much work in diffusing the emotional bomb that is me as the girl gang. Plus, my Drag Race UK watching experience has really been enhanced by having the input of a man who can reassure me that it is in fact fine that the queens are using that razor to shave their face, and no it will not be irritating their skin as I so often fear. In a world where men are so often shut down for expressing themselves or admitting that they are struggling, a little message to say how much you value them and reminding them that you’re a part of their support network could be very valuable. I want men to be able to talk about their platonic feelings too, dammit!
Galentine’s represents a fundamental truth for a lot of people. That friendships, rather than romantic relationships, are the defining connections which help shape who we are and what we do. In my twenty-two years of unbroken and perpetual singleness, I know that this is my reality. Friendships are often a more stable and long-lasting connection. I have friendships that have been around for as long as I’ve been alive, I have friendships that exclusively consist of us complaining to each other, I have friendships where we met literally one time in an Airbnb in New York and then they are invited to my family’s house for Christmas the same year. Friendships are beautiful. Friendships are diverse. Friendships are there when you’re at your lowest. This weekend, where so many couples are treating each other to chocolates and flowers (and hey, more power to them, that sounds adorable) remind yourself that you have your own relationships worthy of celebration.
What is so wrong with performative displays of love? This Galentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to remind your pals that your life is better for having them in it. Whilst 2021 is definitely the year to avoid a massive breakfast party, as Leslie suggests, it could be the most important time to reach out and remind your pal that they are a “beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox.” Whether it be a Zoom hang out, a one-on-walk in the park, a phone call, or (if you’re lucky enough to be living or bubbled with your mates) a classic takeaway and movie night, make sure that you spend this weekend loving as fully and uncompromisingly as possible. Be more Leslie. Remind people every day how much you love them. Tell your friends you want to make out with them when Boris allows. Make it weird. Make it uncomfortable. Make it undeniable. Because everyone deserves to know how much they are cherished. And we could all afford have a little more love right now.
Cover image from GIPHY.
