Normal People & Sex Trends in Lockdown
by Claire Wilsher
Normal People was the book that swept the nation, and now its television counterpart has burst onto our screens, causing the type of hysteria usually reserved for Carole Baskin and vegan baked goods.
So why has this TV show got the nation so hooked? It could be its clever scripting and dark themes, interlaced with a love story so compelling I watched 9 episodes in a row. In part, I really think this is it. There are lots of arty reasons why we all like it; lots of ‘oh it's really well made’ and ‘great acting’ and it’s ‘very real’ reasons. But really, we all know, it’s the sex.
A nation of locked down individuals has created some of the most interesting sexual outcomes. Not least, it's now apparently socially acceptable to look up sexual trends. During this global pandemic, are we all shagging ourselves silly? In films there are always opportunities to have sex in deserted libraries while the world freezes; and even when there isn’t, so much sex oozes from Jake Gyllenhaal’s pores that it makes no difference. (It has suddenly become glaringly obvious that I have only in fact seen one disaster movie and that’s The Day After Tomorrow.)
Apparently, though, we aren’t all shagging ourselves silly in the pandemic. Couples who are locked down together actually aren’t necessarily having more sex. A a study by Onbuy found that almost half of couples reported that they are having less sex during lockdown - and We-Vibe found that only 18% say they are having more. It seems those of us who are lucky enough to be sexing it large (it's a phrase now, deal with it) are actually getting bored with it. Indeed, Google searches for ‘how to make sex more interesting’ are up by 5,000%. It turns out that there is actually a point where you’ve just had ‘enough’ sex. A golden number of sexes. I know. I’ll let you know when I get there.
The vast majority of us, however, are actually having no physical sex at all, with condom sales down across most markets. This trend is being bucked by one man (witnessed by my friend while working in Waitrose) who got to the till and proudly proclaimed he was doing his fortnightly shop. He bought a full family shop - and 3 packs of condoms. (And to you sir, I salute you.) For most of us, however, the reality is pretty different.
You are possibly back in your childhood bed, trying to hold onto some small part of being an adult. Perhaps you are refusing the flannel face wash your mum gives you after dinner, wearing pjs most days, and steadily consuming the vast supply of biscuits your parents have paid for. Adulthood feels pretty out of reach. You are at home with no access to a human who is not related to you. You can’t even pop to the shops for a new battery for your vibrator because going to the shops is the new going out and would require a full debrief and shopping haul catwalk akin to supermarket sweep. Ordering online is not even a consideration, because these days, getting post is so exciting that you will inevitably be asked to open it in front of the whole family and possibly your neighbour (from a safe social distance) over a cup of tea.
But this demographic are the troopers who are actually finding ways to spice it up. Apparently undeterred by the thin walls of the family home, the sending of nudes has gone up. How someone has researched that accurately I don’t know. ‘Thirst traps’ are also on the up. These aren’t, in fact, that thing you do to a wasp where you put a bit of lemonade in the bottom of a bottle so it flies in and gets stuck, as I may or may not have thought the first time I heard about them. Honestly, just have a Google. Generation Z are expanding their sexual repertoire. Virtual sex is happening and it’s getting weirder, wilder and far more flexible.
So, half of us are getting bored with sex whilst the other half are ready to shag anything with a pulse and are gearing ourselves up for post lockdown life where standards will be lower and no one will be able to have sex anyway because they’ve all pulled a muscle doing yoga. And into this backdrop drops Normal People. And Connell’s chain.
I have read Normal People. I did however forget quite how sex heavy it was. Now I’m not saying every Irish man is sexy, but also - that might be exactly what I am saying. First, we had Andrew Scott, the hot Irish priest from Fleabag and now we have Connell, the sexy, thoughtful, book loving boy who also happens to be good at Gaelic football. It's a lot. The sex is sexy because its real. They talk to each other, and there is no artful panning of the shot. You even, at one point, see a real-life penis.
We’re addicted; we’re hooked. I would liken how I feel about Connell to the level of obsession I felt for S Club Juniors - I know that if they met me, we’d be together. Connell’s chain has an Instagram account boasting 142 thousand followers. Ebay has seen a 200% spike in chain sales since Normal People first aired. This is getting out of control. We have moved on from wanting to have sex with anyone with a pulse to drooling over inanimate objects. And why is it? Is a chain really more sexually alluring than most people you’ve ever spoken to? Maybe don’t answer that.
Whether you’re one of the lucky ones who’s hit their golden number of sexes, or one of the frustrated 142 thousand whose most realistic sexual conquest is a metal loop, the only solid advice to follow in order to get through lockdown is: don’t watch Normal People with your mum.
Read more from Claire Wilsher on Going with the Wind and Wilsher’s Blog.
