Baby, I'm the Whole Damn Meal: Keep Cooking and Ignore the Fat-Shamers
Anyone who has a difficult relationship with food is probably struggling right now. Not only are we confined to our homes with little else to focus on, but tabloids and social media are full of fat-shaming and noise about striving for the “ideal” body in lockdown. The torrent of “before and after” quarantine memes are harmful, and it’s all getting harder to block out.
But regardless of the fact that we have to stay home right now, we all deserve to eat - and we all deserve to eat well!
In the vein of Ruby Tandoh’s Eat Up, I’ve put together some recipes that will make you feel good in your heart and full in your belly. I hope it might serve a bit of a distraction, and encourage you to ignore the senseless trolls that insist you should buy some dumb “Tummy Tea”.
So please, keeping cooking, be kind to yourself, and send me pictures of all the lush food you’ve been making.
Comfort Food
Introducing: the potato. So versatile. So WARMING. When things have been tough, I’ve made myself a JP and things have seemed a bit better.
The Perfect Jacket Potato
You will need: 1 large potato, olive oil, and a topping of your choice (always salty butter, for me).
Preheat your oven to 200 degrees. Take your potato (the biggest one you can find), and stab a fork into it, all over, about 6 times. Put it in the microwave for 7 minutes. Then, grab a baking tray and, if you have one, a skewer. Skewer the potato through the centre, place on the baking tray, drizzle a bit of olive oil over it and cook for 30-35 minutes. While the potato is in the oven, prepare your topping. If you’re using cheese, grate LOTS and nibble on some as you wait. Once the potato is ready, cut it in half, load up the butter and cover it with your topping. Then, ENJOY.
Dreamy Side Dishes
If you feel like mixing things up or you’re missing your favourite restaurants: make a side dish (or two)! I’ve actually never been bothered about making sides at home before. A lasagne is just as good on its own, right? Wrong! Shake up your veggies and make furlough a bit more exciting with the following side dishes.
Minty Peas
You will need: 500g peas, a bunch of fresh mint, salt, black pepper, 1 lemon, olive oil. Serves 4.
Pop the peas in a small pan, and place the bunch of mint on top of them. Boil the kettle, and when it is ready, pour it into the pan to cover the peas and mint. Put the pan lid on and cook for 2 minutes. Drain the peas and add salt, pepper, and lemon juice and give it a stir. Cover with olive oil and leave it to sit for 20-30 minutes so the flavours can absorb (if you can wait! It seems excessive for peas, but it’s worth it for the boujee flavours).
Creamy Leaks
You will need: a teaspoon of butter, 4 leeks, 3 stalks of fresh thyme, 120ml of double cream, 3 cloves of garlic (crushed), 20g of grated Parmesan (I used a veggie version). Serves 4.
Preheat your oven to 180 degrees. Rub the butter over a shallow pie dish (I use a 20cm enamel tin). Chop off the bottom root end and the darker green, leafy section of your leek. Slice the remaining part of the leek down the middle and wash the two halves thoroughly. Place leeks, cut side downwards, in the tin and sprinkle the thyme and some salt over them. Heat the cream and garlic in a small pan on a high heat. Let it come to the boil and immediately remove from the heat. Pour evenly over the leeks. Pop in the oven for 30 mins, for the last two minutes add the parmesan.
Have your cake AND eat it.
These two cakes are SO easy – but will make you look like a pro chef (which you are, of course). And I’m sure your flatmates, your mum, and your nan will be dead impressed when you put it on the gram. Curl up with a brew, read a book and tuck into one of these cakes – or both, it literally doesn’t matter.
Marble Cake
You will need: 225g self-raising flour, 225g margarine, 225g caster sugar, 4 eggs, 3 tbsp milk, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 2 tbsp cocoa powder.
Preheat your oven to 180 degrees. Grease a 20cm cake tin. Put the butter, caster sugar, the eggs, self-raising flour, the milk and vanilla extract into a large bowl and mix with a hand whisk until smooth. Divide the mixture into two bowls and stir the cocoa powder into one of the mixtures. Take 2 spoons and dollop the chocolate and vanilla cake mixes into the tin alternately. Make sure the base of the tin is covered. Take a skewer (or a knife or chopstick) and swirl it around the mixture in the tin a few times to create a marbled effect (this feels SO arty). Bake the cake for 45-55 mins until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Turn out and leave to cool.
Raspberry Bakewell Sponge Cake
You will need: 140g ground almonds, 140g butter, 140g caster sugar, 140g self raising flour, 2 eggs, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 250g raspberries (you can use frozen ones!), 2 tsp flaked almonds (not a necessity, but nice if you can get them).
Heat oven to 180C and grease a deep 20cm cake tin. Combine the ground almonds, butter, sugar, flour, eggs and vanilla extract with a hand whisk until well smooth. Put half the mixture in the cake tin, scatter the raspberries in the mixture and then put the rest of the mixture in the tin. Scatter the flaked almonds over the cake and bake for 50 minutes until golden. Turn out and leave to cool.
And there you have it. Sending all the good vibes to make your cakes rise properly, your creamed leeks crispy, and your jacket potatoes perfect. Remember: there is no right or wrong way to enjoy food. Ditch the shame. Let it be for you.
Title image by Erin Cutler.
Polly Cuthbert is a producer, creator and theatre maker from the North of England. You can find her on Twitter as @pollycuthbert_ and Instagram as @pollycuthbert__. If you like what you’ve read, check out her guide to being an activist and ally while in quarantine.
